Pride v Strikers

Round 9 report by David Marshall
Eastern Pride v Brisbane Strikers

I had the dubious pleasure of watching the Pride v STRIKERS on C7 last night. The game aside, (we drew as the result of two bad defensive lapses and showed a glimpse of hope overall) as a TV spectacle it was absolutely diabolical. The camera was parked opposite a literally empty stand, behind one goal were parked what appeared to be the finalists in the whackers' 1970s custom rod competition parked in front of rank grass avergrowing what looked like the rusting skelatl remains of na ancient set of goals. Behind the other a few kiddies were amusing themselves and not paying much attention to the drama unfolding before them.

The crowd, judging from the volume of sound they produced, though carefuly hidden from the cameras, wre outnumbered by the players and the surface of the ground was, to put it mildly, unusual. A rough oval shaped central section of emerald green with nicely crenulated edges and an almost bright orange surface around it. The STRIKERS were wise to wear their "Parma" strip as they blended into the background so well as to be almost invisible at times, thus presenting a new problem for the Pride players. If the blue stripes had been gree they would have been undetectable. One of the commentators (who, BTW, spent the game attempting to persuade the viewer that this was a half decent demonstration of association football by injecting inappropriate excitement) explained that the surface was actually better than it looked and the groundsman had produced the effect with weed killer. Let me tell you folks, that weed killer works! I hope the Pride players won't be involved in an Agent Orange type class action against the club in twenty years' time.

Referring back to the commentators, Blakey, Wadey and Davo I think, I feel for them. It must be tough to have to manufacture some emthusiasm in such dire circunstances. Wadey did so by inventing a new offence (I think, eh, Gedub?) of "Putting yourself in danger" when 'Orrible 'Arris tucked the ball onder his knees when ly\ing on the ground surrounded by hacking Pride boots attempting to get the ball maul style. Wadey said it had to be a yellow card as he had put himself in danger. I remarked during the game that anyone deciding to have a look at Oz football on the box for the first time would be rather less than likely to be converted into a rabid match going fan after such bollocks as that presentation - absolutely no class at all. There, I've got that off my chest.

It's a lovely morning here in Brisbane, BTW :-).