It is one hour before Vanuatu and Fiji do battle in an Olympic qualifier at Hindmarsh, and here I am knocking on the door of the Sth Oz Soccer Federation, expecting to 'interview' Oceania General Secretary Josephine King. Josephine, of course, is Charlie Dempsey's daughter, but I had no intention of firing charges of nepotism in her direction. I had far more important information to discover.

To my surprise, George Dick offered to have a chat. I wondered why? Then he told me he was a subscriber. Fair dinkum, you could've knocked me down with a corner flag. I had never put two and two together before. This was the same guy who has spent years as an administrator in Australia and was now the second most important man in Oceanic soccer (but don't tell David Hill!).
My information about George being a Kiwi had come from the Internet - and from FIFA's own home page as well! It just goes to show that you can't always believe what you read....

The 'interview' wasn't an interview , as such. It was more like a friendly chat with your uncle, and the absence of one of those 'hand-held recorder' jobs means I don't have an actual transcript of the dialogue. But in point form, I was able to glean the following....

What are the geographic boundaries of Oceania?
Well, none actually. There is nothing to stop an obscure island off the west coast of South America from becoming an associate member of Oceania. FIFA's only requirement is that a FIFA member must be a member of a confederation.

What is the difference between being a full member and an associate member of Oceania?
To be an associate member only requires the presence of some form of 'organised football', a definition which could work well for Oceania, enabling a number of tiny nations to achieve associate membership. The qualifications to become a full member are somewhat more stringent. A national league is virtually a pre-requisite while adequate stadiums must be on show when the FIFA inspection team arrives. FIFA certainly don't treat potential newcomers with the same open-armed attitude as the IOC, for example. Unlike Juan Antonio Samaranch, it seems Havelange won't do absolutely anything for a vote! George pointed out that New Caledonia may well become the 11th full member of Oceania should a French referendum in 1997 approve independence.

Is there any chance that some South-East Asian countries may be persuaded to join Oceania, and is there any FIFA statutes preventing such poaching?
FIFA statutes simply state that a member of FIFA must belong to a confederation, so in theory there is nothing to prevent an Asian nation approaching the OFC in future with a view to obtaining an 'easier' World Cup path, for example.

What is the election process to decide office-bearers of Oceania? How often are the elections? Every four years.
When is the next one? 1998
Who is eligible to vote? Each full member has one vote.
Who is eligible to nominate? A person must be nominated by their national federation. George was nominated for the Vice-Presidential post in 1990, was successfully elected, and then re-elected in 1994.

Are there plans to produce an 'Oceania News' type magazine, perhaps even quarterly to help raise awareness of soccer throughout the region?
Yes, there are plans in the pipeline. There has been a couple of publications in the past but the withdrawal of the sponsors made it financially unviable. George did agree though that a regular bulletin from Auckland would eliminate a lot of the misunderstandings the region is famous for.

AFC News suggested that each nation will receive $1 million dollars just for competing in the 2002 World Cup qualifiers. What is your understanding of the distribution of money?
It is expected that FIFA will ask Oceania to oversee the distribution of the grants.

This could be a tricky one. One would assume that the various island football associations could not cope with the sudden input of $1 million, but can Oceania cope with the sudden input of $10 million?
It is expected that the windfall will ensure that ALL full members of Oceania will compete in future confederation tournaments at all levels, but that leaves a hell of a lot of money to spend.
'SU' will watch with interest.

At that point Charlie Dempsey stepped into the Federation offices, which was a signal for an introduction, and a few friendly barbs about how everyone always has a go at Oceania and the officials and.... well, deep down Charlie wants to do what is right for the region. He is as well aware as anyone that the Asians don't want Australia in Asia, so like it or lump it Australia is stuck in Oceania and Oceania is stuck with Australia. Perhaps it is time for Australia to face up to that fact. Constant references to Oz 'getting to Asia as soon as possible' just further strains the already fragile relationship we share with Dempsey & co.

Until now, Oceania has not had anywhere near the amount of resources it needs. Could it be that the influx of cash in a few years time may be just the catalyst needed for Oceania to make some progress in the world game? Perhaps, but considering the performances of some of the teams in Adelaide, competitiveness should be the initial goal.